bad movies you should like

mac and me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdvO0tmNjGo

friendly stereotypes

mexicans smell like candy

views

you don't need two or more polacks to screw in a light bulb....two or fewer will suffice

beliefs

bisexuals would like to hang out w me

truths

bisexuals like the dick..and the snatch...they like to fuck..that's what bein a bisexual is

lies

lesbians like the dick

facts

lesbians don't like the dick

lies

if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want a glass of milk

truths

cats will always land on their feet

facts

if you want the job done right, hire a professional

facts

raccoons are out there. i mean they are really, really out there...they're everywhere! if you live near a dumpster, you live next door to raccoons. and they will not back down. we are in a struggle people, and dumpster struggle to discern the trash from nests. they are one and the same

truths

don't feed dogs chocolate

Old People don't get fast food lines........

Listen this goes out to old people. Ok I GET IT! You're old as fuck....Back in your day you would order your food and a cup of coffee and a burger was 37 cents. You would sit at the counter and they would bring you the food and things were great. Well get over it ok it's not 19dickity3 any more. When you order your food move the FUCK over. Thats how it works now.......First you take forever to order your god damn ckhicken sandwich even though thats what you order every FUCKING time you come here, Then you have the audacity to sit there and wait at the register to get your food. MOVE OVER it's my turn the you know what i'll do I"LL fuckiong movr over then the next person gets to go. I blame you for the economy. If you were faster then more business would be had elsewhere.

truths

don't sleep with women who's problems are worse than yours

what is a pirates favorite resturant? RRR..Bsss

I pick East Carolina to go undeafted this year with there great start. Therefore they will go 11-2.

-Not Scott Baio-

Devin Hester Bears QB!

While drinking an uproarious amount of liqour we made a bet. Here's the bet: Will Devin Hester take a snap directly from the center during the Chicago Bears season this year? This bet includes the option that Hester will take the snap and run. Did I mention that John Berns hates fucking baseball? That seems slightly un-american doesn't it? Just saying.....

The lean mean fat grilling machine
-George Foreman

John Berns Loves Moises Alou

John Berns hates baseball..he fucking hates it! You know how pissed he was that three of the top plays at the bar today were baseball?? He fucking hates it! You know how fucking bad the Blue Jays are?? They're fucking terrible!